I haven't blogged in a REALLY really long time. I'm not sure if I even see a point in it anymore, but I'm too lazy to right in my journal right now, so this is the quick alternative.

Today is my birthday. I turned 21, though I don't feel anywhere near that age. 17 still seems like the appropriate response when people ask...but that is far gone from me now. I try to use moments like this in life as a sort of reflection time. Today was probably the most busy birthday I've ever had...probably in the top 10 busiest days of my whole life actually. It should have been extremely stressful, but I didn't seem to notice today. Every 10 minutes today without fail I've had someone encouraging me. Friends telling me how much they care. Family and community that called to catch up. The texts and messages were overwhelmingly comforting, and it was such a great reminder of the camaraderie (tribute to Burks) I've found in life. That's nice.

Today I found a poem that I wrote two years ago. As I look back on what I wrote, I am reminded of how convicted I felt, and I am so proud to say that my windows have changed. I can't say that everything is better, but I can say that progress has been made. There are some days that the sun will fall exactly where it did the day before (I could work in a really good Astronomy lesson right here), but the overall progress I would say has been from West to North...metaphorically that is...obviously I know the sun will never set due North. Here is the poem...most everyone that looks at it will probably see it as worthless, meaningless, and poorly written, but for me...this is life.

A Window to the Past

I'm sitting in front of a window watching the darkness, waiting for the sun to rise. I see the future. I see the past. The same things happen day after day. I am no more of a failure than I was yesterday. I am no more of a success.

I'm sitting in front of a window unable to move, unable to blink. The world is standing still. Wind chimes hang noiseless, lifeless. The world is still, calm, asleep. Soon the world will wake, and then it will sleep again.

I'm sitting in front of a window wondering if tomorrow I'll again be sitting in front of a window.